Stress & Relaxation Resources

Self Help Resources Stress & Relaxation

What is Stress?

Stress occurs when you perceive that the demands of a situation exceed your personal and social resources.

There are two types of stress, acute and chronic.

Acute Stress occurs when the body goes into "fight or flight" mode (due to a perceived threat) and stress hormones, adrenaline and cortisol, are secreted by your body. This is meant to be adaptive-- your focus, reaction time and strength are all improved. Other stress symptoms, that aren't so pleasant, include increased muscle tension, rapid/shallow breathing, sweaty palms, and dry mouth.

Unfortunately, your prefrontal cortex (the "thinking"center of the brain) goes pretty much "off-line" during this acute stress response. So... it is difficult to make well-reasoned decisions. The fight or flight response is very effective if you are being chased by a tiger (you really don't need to "think" in this situation, you just need to "react"), but it is probably not the most effective method of dealing with the common stressors of today (e.g., relationships, school, work, finances, etc.).
Chronic Stress produces longer-term changes in our physiology and brain chemistry. Our bodies can only maintain the "fight or flight" response" for so long. Eventually, if the stressor continues, we move from "alarm" to "resistance" to "exhaustion." Exhaustion results results from the gradual wearing down of your body during the resistance stage. Feeling overwhelmed and pressured for too long can cause depression, anxiety, heart disease, addiction problems, obesity, and other issues. In fact, stress is the number one cause of 80% of America's health problems.

Stress Symptoms

Physical: aches and pains; diarrhea or constipation; nausea, dizziness; chest pain or rapid hearbeat; frequent colds or infections; loss of sex drive
Cognitive: having memory problems; difficulty concentrating; poor judgment; seeing only the negative; anxious or racing thoughts; constant worrying
Emotional: moodiness, irritability or short temper; agitation or inability to relax; feeling overwhelmed; sense of isolation or loneliness; depression or feeling generally unhappy

Behavioral: sleeping too much or too little; eating more or less or gravitating toward "junk food" when this is not common for you; isolating yourself from others; procrastinating or neglecting responsibilities; using alcohol, drugs, or cigarettes to relax; engaging in nervous habits (like nail biting, pacing, picking at your skin)

What Causes Stress?

A potential stressor is something, someone, or some situation that has the ability to threaten you or something that you value. There is no person, place, or situation that is inherently stressful to everyone in all circumstances. Something becomes a stressor only when you feel threatened by it and feel that you can't cope with it.

There are certain LIFE EVENTS (e.g., marriage, divorce, moving, death of a loved one, losing your job, etc.) that many of us think of as universally stressful, but it is all in how you think about the event that determines just how stressful that event might be for you.

Since stressors are relative and not universal, it is possible to alter your relationship to them and how you view them.

What You Can Do!

Learn to Learn

Understand that productive living is achieved through the application of living skills, and all skills can be learned.
Concentrate your efforts on learning new, positive skills.

Hear What Your Body Is Telling You

Physical symptoms such as headaches, backpain, and stomach irritation can be signs of chronic stress.
Let your body be an HMO for good emotional and physical health.

Learn How to Use Relaxation Techniques

Meditation, imagery, and muscle relaxation can all help to reduce the stress of a fast-paced lifestyle.
Choose a technique that fits you and be aware of its importance to your healthy existence.

Respect Your Feelings

Feelings can help guide and motivate us to change problem areas.
Feelings deserve attention and validation.

Benefit from Your Thoughts

Thinking guides your behavior.
Thinking things out helps us decide if and how we shall act on our feelings.
Thinking is a skill which can be developed.

Practice Assertion

Just be yourself.
Begin to recognize your thoughts and feelings, pay attention to what they are telling you.
Express yourself in an open and straightforward fashion. This will increase the likelihood of others understanding you as well as your feeling understood.

Confide In a Friend

Let yourself share your thoughts and feelings with others whom you trust.
If it is difficult for you to share feelings, let your friends know.
Friendship and social support can be very helpful during life crises.

Come Face to Face with Your Problems

As difficult as it might seem, confronting problems can provide opportunities for change and greater awareness.
Try to view your problems as challenges which will ultimately improve your life.

Attempt to Solve Your Problems

Answers to life problems require consideration and the weighing of alternate solutions.
There is seldom one simple, correct answer.
Observe how valued others solve their problems.
Remember to assume a "coping" attitude.
Solving problems is a skill that improves with practice.

Act on Your Solutions

Decide what action you are going to take even if you aren't sure about the results.
Consider coming to some resolution of your dreams as well as your problems.

Make Mistakes

Attempt to learn from your mistakes.
Remember that mistakes reflect behaviors not your personality, so just because you make a mistake doesn't mean you are one.
Allow yourself to take risks and realize that making mistakes is a normal part of life.

Employ a Self-Help List

Develop a list of things to do which will help you feel better when feeling disturbed or helpless.
Consider things which have been helpful in similar situations. Some suggestions are exercising, a soothing shower or bath, talking with a trusted friend, watching a movie, etc.
Be sure to keep the list with you in case you need to use it.
Maintain and upgrade the list as you begin to explore new ways of helping yourself cope with adversity.

Concentrate on Yourself

Know what your needs are and respect them.
Allow yourself space to be creative. Try new things to make life exciting.
Make a point to indulge yourself on occasion. Even little things like getting a massage or going out to dinner can make you feel better.

Respect Others

Recognize and pay attention to the needs of others.
Kindness breeds kindness. It is likely that if you show love to others they will reciprocate.
Caring sometimes involves taking risks.

Plan Goals for Your Future

Know where you are going.
Develop a list of objectives and create a general timeline for their achievement.
Imagine what your life will be like after accomplishing these goals.

Recognize the Importance of Time Management

Prioritize your daily activities so that the most important steps toward your future are taken first.
Understand that people do not find time, they make it.
Take time to make time.

Have Fun

Set aside time for open, spontaneous, and imaginative play.
Explore new activities.
Engage in practiced activities which are gratifying.

Seek Assistance

Getting help is a healthy choice if things are going badly and you believe you could benefit from it.
Realize that we can't always do it alone - we all get help sometimes.

Give Change a Chance

Express your real feelings.
Allow yourself to experience some anxiety - it motivates change.
Trust your counselor - he/she is there to help you.

Apps for Relaxation and Stress Management

Headspace - widely app for relaxation and meditation. There is a 14-day free trial and the Headspace Student Plan is at a deeply discounted rate.
Calm - stress less, sleep more, live mindfully. Free trial available
Insight Timer - a free meditation app that includes guided meditations from teachers all over the world. From 2 minutes to 2 hours. Also includes talks and stories.